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finding out that toilet paper is not an option after giving birth because my mangled vagina won't be able to heal properly
728 days ago
agree (42)
disagree (47)
- 1 other comment
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greenpeas
yeah that's probably true... but if they send me home with the spray bottle i might slap someone
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Laurie B
Oh! I hear ya! :P Shoot, I wish I had your email. I have so many resources I could give you to make things easier. Are you on Facebook? Look for me! I have a much better way to deal with the recovery that will be quicker and very soothing.
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having very little $ and having your parents tell you that everything in your house is crap... in front of your husband.
747 days ago
agree (44)
disagree (33)
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Blurredweasel
mobile psychiatrist....I never heard it put that way. I'll have to remember that one.
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greenpeas
my parents are not allowed to visit. it was that they weren't allowed to stay overnight (they live out of town) but she came over and kept her mouth shut until we got to the airport & she went off on how bad my place looked. shes not allowed inside at all
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being pregnant and having very little $, and student loans and having your parents complain that you can't fly to see them
747 days ago
agree (51)
disagree (31)
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Laurie B
Geez! I want to post "greenpeas' parents" in a sucks post. lol Just come back at them with: "You are better off than us, what excludes you from the complaining of not hopping on a plane to visit??" I heard similar complaints from friends about inlaws.
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greenpeas
i have great in laws. i told my parents that if they wanted to pay for plane tickets we would come but otherwise we cant afford it. so now they're paying for plane tickets and im kindof regretting saying anything. it will be fun... stressful but fun
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trying to speak rationally to someone only to have them get offended and start calling you names. i have no social skills
752 days ago
agree (54)
disagree (39)
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Laurie B
I agreed and disagreed. Because, it sucks to have someone react irrationally to you. I don't think you are the one who has no social skills. Sounds like the person you were talking to is the one lacking.
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a drunk friend was mad at his roommate for doing drugs so he put his snake in his roommate's bird cage.
752 days ago
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amanda
thats terrible..
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Blurredweasel
Not if it were a Pterodactyl.
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FnkDrSpok
Kirby? Those things are older than the dinosaurs.
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my husband's whole family thinking that badminton is actually bad mitten
762 days ago
agree (44)
disagree (39)
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Laurie B
I hate when they think you are being snobbish when you reasonably use bigger words properly. Hey, that is truly how I speak. Sorry you are too stupid to understand! LOL
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when your rock-hard uterus rests on your bladder and a sneeze makes you pee a little.
767 days ago
agree (48)
disagree (56)
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Laurie B
Any uterus that responsibly carries life to term and allows it to live, ROCKS!
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greenpeas
i would hate to have an irresponsible uterus
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when people find out i'm pregnant they're suddenly inspired to tell their most gruesome and horrific labor stories.
768 days ago
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disagree (36)
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Laurie B
Okay, for shock value, if the hags don't quit, w/a totally straight face say, "You know, thanks for enlightening me. I think I'll go have a late term abortion now." and walk away. teehee
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greenpeas
i wonder how the women at my church would respond to that. i might have to have a meeting with my pastor again.
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eight month waiting lists for daycare when you're having a baby in five months
769 days ago
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disagree (47)
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AmooleeAlS3oudia
those are adorable. especially when they learn to blow snot bubbles.
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greenpeas
gross. if my baby blows snot bubbles you can have it
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FnkDrSpok
I've played beer pong once, you may have to teach me the rules again. Are women not supposed to catch the balls in their mouths?
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greenpeas
i think you're thinking of a different game
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Laurie B
I know, "Talked to death", but...
http://www.webmd.com/skin-beauty/tc/tea-tree-oil-melaleuca-alternifolia-topic-overview
and
http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-lifestyle-guide/supplement-guide-tea-tree-oil
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Laurie B
"lack of evidence" isn't the same as an outright warning. It just means, that they haven't directly tested the product on a pregnant woman or children. However, it has been used for many many years w/out incident. Don't ingest or use full strength.
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i just finished all of my work for the semester and now i'm watching a jenny mccarthy biography
776 days ago
agree (43)
disagree (36)
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greenpeas
she has that horrible kate gosselin hair
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marajader2d2
Oh jeez. We know how I feel about the Kate Gosselin hair. *cough blonde geometrically challenged rooster cough*
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greenpeas
two people agree with me!
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singing along to the radio in your car in a very animated way & looking over to a whole car full of people staring at you
776 days ago
agree (33)
disagree (37)
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Laurie B
It's because Anchorage, Juneau and Fairbanks appeal to lower 48ers. It's in Alaska, but not roughing it by any means. So, you have people relocate here with very different ideals and social proclivities. Sad really.
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greenpeas
it's true. people come away to get away but not feel away
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accidentally mistyping your address in an online order.
776 days ago
agree (47)
disagree (39)
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FnkDrSpok
Sending it to my house was no mistake.
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greenpeas
ill just have to call ups directly. toysrus is stupid. i called to change it like hours afterward on a friday when there was still a chance and i was told it would be fixed and they still sent it out wrong
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i saw a poor wal mart employee piss herself and i don't think they even let her go home.
777 days ago
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disagree (40)
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Blurredweasel
Damn. What if she shit herself. Wonder if they'd make her stay then.
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Laurie B
SHEESH! No free clinics or health nurses in your area? Do you qualify for Denali Kidcare? Girly, I am so worried about you now, I might go looking for you! kd. ;) Glad you have a good man to care for you. I subsisted on meal shakes and salad at first.
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greenpeas
i have denali kid care now luckily. but i just got a state job so i should have state insurance soon. i'm good now but the first bit was definitely an adventure
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pregnancy dreams suck... so far i have birthed a ferret, peed on an ex as a favor and had to eat a buffalo.
777 days ago
agree (40)
disagree (25)
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AmooleeAlS3oudia
those are just too amusing to not laugh at. sorry about your weird dreams but theyd def be better than all the nightmares i have. lol.
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greenpeas
thats the good thing about pregnancy. i haven't had a nightmare since! i used to get chased and killed all the time
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getting my first baby gift in the mail (a stroller and car seat) and having a mini panic attack. babies are big!!!!
778 days ago
agree (46)
disagree (45)
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AmooleeAlS3oudia
yeah i heard a lot of women push so hard and cant feel anything that they poo or pee all over everywhere. but its normal the doctors wont even think anythings funny. and ive also heard that very few women tear...it happens but isnt common.
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greenpeas
my mother has been an OB nurse forever and she loves to terrify me with her most frightening stories
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internet scam companies that have my work & phone numbers, my email, MY BANK ACCOUNT, & now my facebook too. how?
778 days ago
agree (33)
disagree (44)
- 4 other comments
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Laurie B
I live in Alaska and in four days, had five charges from companies in the UK. I was so mad. Luckily, they were reversed and the card closed (a pain in itself). I wanted to call those companies up and read them the riot act, but I can't call outside the US
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greenpeas
*ridiculous... i find it's actually somewhat cathartic to be rude to the phone people and i haven't gotten a call yet today so maybe it's getting better
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that anyone expects tiger wood's wife to stay with him after he slept with at least 14 other women
779 days ago
agree (53)
disagree (48)
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Rain3an
having to pay $500 million to sleep with 14 women, that sucks!
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greenpeas
ha! yeah i doubt it was worth that much
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Mr. Brightside
goddamn, why am i the only dude who can't cry?
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greenpeas
i have a knack for it
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that my husband wants to give money to a family with money problems when we have our own & could really use it
780 days ago
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disagree (44)
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FuriousGeorge
Bah Humbug!
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greenpeas
plus i really dislike the people. and he ruined my couch!!!
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Mr. Brightside
macias@acnrep.com
The Opportunity Tab
lemme know what ya think
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greenpeas
i'm afraid.. i don't think i will.
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Rain3an
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/ptero
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AmooleeAlS3oudia
OMG YES! i was at the mall and there was this guy probably about 5'3 or 5'4 and he wasnt thin but not fat either. but you could tell he had meat on his bones and he was wearing skinny jeans that like were tight by the ankle but baggy by the crotch. EW
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greenpeas
i just don't like to see a coin slot on a dude. especially if the guy is hairy. my gag reflex is super sensitive these days and a sight like that sets it off.
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FuriousGeorge
humor is lost on you greenpeas. There's an f-ing smiley face at the end of it
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greenpeas
my husband tells me he married the character "bones" from the tv show. its funny because we have similar names.. funny!!!
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the one time i saw porn (i walked into the wrong room) the girl on the screen looked just like me.
781 days ago
agree (49)
disagree (38)
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FnkDrSpok
Very vigorously...
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greenpeas
eeeewwww
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high fives. whatever happened really wasn't that great and it isnt a good enough reason for me to have to touch you.
781 days ago
agree (33)
disagree (46)
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FuriousGeorge
that sounds super lame gp
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greenpeas
it is lame but so are high fives... at least the turkey is aware of the fact that it's lame
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i feel really bad but when i read a particularly depressing & specific suck i laugh uncontrollably. that means that i suck
781 days ago
agree (39)
disagree (54)
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Mr. Brightside
Get ready for A LOT of disagrees :D
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Mr. Brightside
i always find my eyelashes in mine
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FnkDrSpok
Rain3an = irony man
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taking a legitimate job compatibility test 8 times and getting clown 7 times... then getting documentary film director.
782 days ago
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disagree (35)
- 1 other comment
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greenpeas
or i could continue to work as a secretary
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FuriousGeorge
nah, i wouldn't
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Laurie B
haha, I suppose FuriousGeorge.
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FnkDrSpok
¡hola!
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FuriousGeorge
Yetis rock. My Grandfather was part yeti
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greenpeas
expand on that...
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having my husband put gasoline soaked clothes through the washer & dryer... i can't wash anything else now... & it smells
782 days ago
agree (41)
disagree (38)
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greenpeas
eww... you win. i would vomit.
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Laurie B
The second phase of that suckage, is washing it ten times, drying it, seems to smell clean. Folding and putting it away, then having him go to wear one of the offending shirts, and it smells again. Like, the demonic organisms are undead now.
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in five months i will have two children to take care of.... one will be 24 years old
782 days ago
agree (46)
disagree (48)
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sultrysuccubus
My mother said when she left to go to the hospital in labour she had a man, and when she got back home, she had two kids. Something about being a father makes a man revert.
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greenpeas
oh no! i really hope he can't revert any more
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buying my husband nice clothes only to have him wear them to work and completely destroy them.
782 days ago
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disagree (45)
- 1 other comment
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Laurie B
Feeling your pain.
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greenpeas
awww. grandpas are fun
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man thigh sucks... i think all men should be forced to wear knee length shorts
782 days ago
agree (37)
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FuriousGeorge
and I hate you
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greenpeas
aww.. that is sad
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having to listen to the sincere and overly personal answer to "how are you?"
782 days ago
agree (54)
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greenpeas
crazies
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FuriousGeorge
I agree. Brevity is a virtue
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making fun of someone's spelling and then being told that that person has a learning disability
782 days ago
agree (56)
disagree (43)
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Blurredweasel
im knot afended bi that;'.'.,,, mee lyke yuo fore frend hav.
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FuriousGeorge
lol blurred
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greenpeas
exaggerations
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greenpeas
but it's so gross!!
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Blurredweasel
It's one of those useless veggies that serves only one purpose, being dropped from the 25th floor.
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people touching my belly & commenting on how i'm showing, & then arguing with me about it. i just had a big lunch!
783 days ago
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disagree (38)
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greenpeas
i have personal space issues
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greenpeas
congrats!
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greenpeas
do ninjas drop from the sky?
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FuriousGeorge
The good ones do
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greenpeas
i really hope it was the same person that agreed and disagreed with this post
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greenpeas
aggressive
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absolutmara
...especially when you're in a hurry. Happens to me a lot. Haha :)
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FuriousGeorge
Feel you dude
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make-a-move
yes! that has created a lot of uncomfortable moments in my life. and then when i still want to laugh because i still think it's funny when they clearly don't sucks.
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greenpeas
or when they agree with your comment not realizing it was sarcastic. that is really awkward
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having a migraine and not being able to take medication because you're pregnant really sucks. goodbye 2 days' pay.
786 days ago
agree (47)
disagree (43)
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FuriousGeorge
serves you right for getting pregnant and bringing yet another person into this economy
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greenpeas
ha. alaska's economy is still top notch. we have all that evil, money-making oil
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people suck. we are all stupid and completely unaware of it.
787 days ago
agree (47)
disagree (38)
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greenpeas
i, however, am clearly not very bright... how do i keep on double posting things? i only click once... i'm pretty sure anyway.
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Blurredweasel
Mee nO tupiD QWERTYUIOPgazArgawitz></:"{]';[ACK
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the punk kid with a surface piercing pontificating on the stupidity of the world... if only he were aware he is the expert
787 days ago
agree (54)
disagree (36)
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Blurredweasel
I guess pointing a nail gun at your forehead has that side affect
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greenpeas
any 19 year old community college student who thinks he knows the answers to absolutely everything AND insists on voicing them loudly is bound to annoy...
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